Current:Home > reviewsSurpassing:Ashton Kutcher's cringey clips, Danny Masterson and what our friendships say about us -InvestTomorrow
Surpassing:Ashton Kutcher's cringey clips, Danny Masterson and what our friendships say about us
EchoSense View
Date:2025-04-10 22:06:46
A cringeworthy comment about waiting for Hilary Duff and Surpassingthe Olsen twins to turn 18. An inappropriate bet about tongue-kissing an underage co-star while filming.
Ashton Kutcher isn't the only entertainer to have made jokes of this ilk back in the early 2000s; however, the actor's past comments have resurfaced in light of the conviction of his longtime friend and former "That 70s Show" co-star Danny Masterson, who was sentenced Thursday to 30 years to life in prison for raping two women. Kutcher and his wife, Mila Kunis, who also starred on "That 70s Show," both wrote and later apologized for character letters in which they described Masterson positively.
To put it simply, Kutcher hasn't been accused of anything, and there is no reason to believe he is anything like Masterson. So why are Kutcher's past interviews being dissected by people all over the internet? Sociology and mental health experts say it's because friendship bonds are powerful − and people care deeply about who others choose to be friends with.
"There's a lot of research that shows how contagious our friends are," Shasta Nelson, friendship expert and author of "Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness," says. "Our friends have the chance to shape our opinions, our preferences … our spiritual health, our physical health."
What our friendships say about us
Our friendships have a profound impact on our lives. They affect our immune system, longevity, mental health and overall happiness.
Though someone's friends don't reflect the totality of who they are, the general perception tends to be that someone's friends can clue you in on certain aspects their identity, Erica Chito Childs, a professor of sociology at Hunter College and The Graduate Center, CUNY, says.
"If you're spending time with people and you're choosing to spend time with them, it means that there's some level of commonality, and you are also at least in some way associated with their behavior."
More:Ashton Kutcher faces backlash for clips discussing underage Hilary Duff, Olsen twins, Mila Kunis
We also tend to have blind spots for our friends' bad behavior or when they fall short.
"When we like somebody, we tend to overlook or dismiss their problematic behaviors," Chito Childs says. "People sometimes can be very clear on seeing the flaws of those whom they don't know, but (with) their friends and their family, they explain it away."
More:Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis address 'pain' caused by Danny Masterson letters: 'We support victims'
What to do if a friend does something unequivocally wrong
So what happens when a friend does something unthinkable − like get convicted of a heinous crime?
It's a complicated experience and one that can raise deep feelings of betrayal and grief.
"It's also common for us to start questioning our own ability to choose people and our own judgments, and so it's very disorienting," Nelson says. "It's very destabilizing for people to go through these experiences."
More:'That '70s Show' actor Danny Masterson sentenced to 30 years to life in prison for 2 rapes
Psychotherapist Stephanie Sarkis says an important thing to keep in mind is that two things can be true at once − someone could have been a great friend to you and still have done horrible things to someone else.
"You can have a friend that is very nice to you, but also victimizes other people," Sarkis says. "That terrifies us as people, that there can be someone that is good to their kids, is a good employee, is a good friend of ours, and then they can have this entirely different side that we knew nothing about."
Experts offer the following guidance if you are in a situation where a close friend has done something horrifying:
- Respect the victims: "Think about how would you react if you were friends with the person who was on the other side of this, who was the one victimized," Chito Childs says. "Obviously it's difficult, but you have to try to also make sure that you yourself are not inflicting more harm."
- Feel your feelings: This can be done through therapy or journaling, Nelson says, encouraging people to ask themselves: "What fears does it bring up? What insecurities, what anger, what are the things I need to do to keep myself healthy? What do I need?"
- Reflect on if you still want to be friends: This is something that can also be good to do even with friends who haven't done anything bad, Sarkis says. "It's important just from time to time to do emotional inventory of our friendships," she says. "Look at what are the feelings you had the last time you met with a person. Do you feel supported? Do you feel respected? Are you afforded dignity in the relationship?"
More:Danny Masterson found guilty of 2 counts of rape in retrial, faces up to 30 years in prison
veryGood! (6238)
Related
- Finally, good retirement news! Southwest pilots' plan is a bright spot, experts say
- Florida dad accused of throwing 10-year-old daughter out of car near busy highway
- Ohio historical society settles with golf club to take back World Heritage tribal site
- Olympic female boxers are being attacked. Let's just slow down and look at the facts
- Residents worried after ceiling cracks appear following reroofing works at Jalan Tenaga HDB blocks
- Powerball winning numbers for July 31 drawing: Jackpot at $171 million
- Wyndham Clark's opening round at Paris Olympics did no favors for golf qualifying system
- Miles Partain, Andy Benesh advance in Paris Olympics beach volleyball after coaching change
- Sarah J. Maas books explained: How to read 'ACOTAR,' 'Throne of Glass' in order.
- Man accused of beheading father in their home is competent to stand trial, judge rules
Ranking
- Justice Department, Louisville reach deal after probe prompted by Breonna Taylor killing
- After Olympics, Turkey’s Erdogan seeks unity with Pope Francis against acts that mock sacred values
- 50 Cent addresses Diddy allegations and why he never partied with the rapper
- 2024 Olympics: Simone Biles Wins Gold During Gymnastics All-Around Final
- Dick Vitale announces he is cancer free: 'Santa Claus came early'
- Jonathan Majors breaks silence on Robert Downey Jr. replacing him as next 'Avengers' villain
- Jamie Lee Curtis Apologizes for Toilet Paper Promotion Comments After Shading Marvel
- Florida dad accused of throwing 10-year-old daughter out of car near busy highway
Recommendation
Google unveils a quantum chip. Could it help unlock the universe's deepest secrets?
Sunisa Lee’s long road back to the Olympics ended in a familiar spot: the medal stand
Ballerina Farm blasts article as 'an attack on our family': Everything to know
Alabama woman pleads guilty to defrauding pandemic relief fund out of $2 million
Selena Gomez engaged to Benny Blanco after 1 year together: 'Forever begins now'
Powerball winning numbers for July 31 drawing: Jackpot at $171 million
A woman is arrested in vandalism at museum officials’ homes during pro-Palestinian protests
Olympic boxer at center of gender eligibility controversy wins bizarre first bout